"Like Jesus we belong to the world living not for ourselves but for others. The joy of the Lord is our strength."
-Mother Theresa
2004-04-29 - April 23rd
23 April 2004,
This is the kind of day that I ponder change. What is my part? How will the history books remember the nameless faces of my generation? Will they hear about all the controversy? Will be painted simply as heroes of a dark age?
They will never hear the heroic story of how A1C Thompson kept fighting even when her comrades had fallen. They won’t learn how she walked into danger simply to help a friend in need. They certainly won’t hear about the paperwork she filed every day or tickets she would open for some one to fix.
What is it I do to impact the future?
The real question is, “Why am I so afraid of being forgotten?”
I dream of having people know my face. I’m dreaming of a bigger life. Choosing to keep myself immersed in words has made me feel a little calmer about being alone but it doesn’t make me happy.
I never had to want anything bigger when I had my Isaiah around me. My dream to not be forgotten disappears when he is around because I know he’ll never forget. As long as I have him to go to heaven with the world is good place. I don’t have to be afraid to die when I know I will meet with him on the other side. I don’t have to want to keep myself tied to this place. It’s my biggest dream come true. That is a choice I will never regret making. He is the turning point of my life. There is Before Isaiah and After Isaiah.
There is one thing my heart is missing. My compromises to do what I can to have people hear my writing. I love to read. I love to be read to. Most of all my passion is to write the words other people enjoy to read. It’s been gone for a long time. I used to be good. I made a choice. Find him or find the words. I chose him. What would have happened if I’d chosen the other path? It’s never a mistake to make a choice to love so I know my life will be good.
Someday soon we can hold each other again and smile. That day will be one of the many happy days of the rest of my life. For now I will nap here and dream about that immortality I gave up in coming down this road.
